Teen Steps Up to Help Family After Dad’s Colon Cancer Diagnosis — and Shares What He Learned

In 2020, on his 16th birthday, Dylan Kurtz’s father Jonathan started chemotherapy for stage 3 colon cancer.

“I didn’t really know much of anything about colon cancer other than it was cancer in the colon,” Kurtz told Healthline. “I knew of different types of cancer but didn’t really know anything about what it meant for the person diagnosed, other than that it can be deadly, if it’s caught late.”

He felt uncertain about his dad’s future. After his father explained the treatment plan — radiation followed by several months of chemotherapy — Kurtz began to grasp how serious the situation was.

Marianne Pearson, a licensed clinical social worker and vice president of Cancer Care at the Colorectal Cancer Alliance, said parents should have honest conversations with their kids that match their age. She told Healthline that explaining treatments like chemotherapy or radiation and even visiting the cancer center can ease fear. Support from oncology-trained professionals can also help children feel safer.

Once Kurtz understood what was happening, he realized the whole family — including his mom and brother — would be affected. His mom told him that during treatment, his dad wouldn’t be able to do their usual activities, like going to professional baseball games or running outside.

“I was really sad because all these things that I love to do with my dad tend to be very physically active or involve going places and being very engaged in doing things,” said Kurtz. “But I handled it by finding workarounds.”

Because Jonathan’s treatments weakened his immune system, the family changed their routines during the COVID-19 pandemic to avoid bringing germs into the house. Instead of running outdoors, they spent quiet time at home. Rather than traveling to baseball games, Kurtz and his dad worked on 1,000-piece puzzles featuring different baseball stadiums.

“Some of them are hanging in my room now, and some are hanging in my dad’s office,” said Kurtz. “It was something he could do while in treatment. We sat down quietly and had something good to do together.”

Kurtz also took on more chores, including cooking and cleaning, and caring for his older brother Steven, who has autism. Since summer camps were canceled in 2020, he created “Camp Kurtz” to keep his brother engaged.

“I would do all sorts of different activities to step in for the lack of camp activities that he had, so it was a combination of teaching him household skills and just doing fun things,” said Kurtz.

He taught his brother how to tie his shoes, clean the house, and vacuum. They also swam in their backyard pool, watched movies, and walked their dog Piper.

“We did all sorts of different things throughout the summer to keep us both busy while my mom and dad were focusing on a lot of other stuff, like going through the treatments,” said Kurtz.

Today, Kurtz’s father is cancer-free and stays healthy with regular screenings and checkups.

Before his dad’s diagnosis, Kurtz didn’t know much about preventive health. “I thought if you got cancer, there was nothing you could have done to change that,” he said. He later learned that wasn’t true.

“From my dad’s diagnosis, I learned that screening and getting checked for different types of cancers is something that you can do to stay healthy,” he said. “It’s much better to find polyps and get them removed before they [become cancerous], than go through chemotherapy.”

Now finishing his senior year of college, Kurtz plans to get genetic testing to see if he needs early and more frequent screening, including a colonoscopy.

Dr. Cedrek McFadden, a medical advisor for the Colorectal Cancer Alliance, told Healthline that children of a parent diagnosed with colorectal cancer have a higher risk. They should start screening earlier — usually at age 40, or 10 years before the age their parent was diagnosed, whichever comes first. He also said genetic counseling and testing may be important, especially if the cancer occurred at a younger age or there is a strong family history.

Kurtz plans to get a colonoscopy soon because of his family history. He also focuses on healthy habits, including not smoking and eating a balanced diet.

“I think of my health in more of a long-term context; what I do to my body now could affect me later,” he said.

Shortly after his dad’s diagnosis, Kurtz worked with the Colorectal Cancer Alliance to create a blog post and video about screening and resources for kids whose parents have cancer. He decided to share his story again because colorectal cancer has become the leading cause of cancer deaths in U.S. adults under 50, surpassing breast and lung cancer.

Kurtz offers several tips for kids whose parents are facing colon cancer:

First, avoid searching for information online unless it comes from a trusted source. He found that online searches often show worst-case stories that may not apply to your family. He recommends asking doctors for answers instead.

Second, expect family responsibilities to change. He suggests teenagers embrace taking on chores at home. “A lot of the things your parent would typically do, they may not feel up to right now,” he said. But if you feel overwhelmed, tell your parents.

Third, find new things to do together. While a parent goes through treatment, try activities like puzzles, listening to podcasts, or watching a show. “There are still ways to be together and create new memories,” said Kurtz.

Fourth, ask for help if you’re overwhelmed. Telling teachers, coaches, or a school counselor what’s happening at home can help them support you. Kurtz also recommends talking with friends and other family members. “It’s hard to go through this alone. People want to help, so let them,” he said. If you need to talk with a mental health provider, it’s okay to tell your parents.

Dr. Tom Milam, a psychiatrist and chief medical officer at Iris Telehealth, told Healthline that some kids are curious about cancer and want to discuss treatment and side effects, while others don’t talk about it. “Underneath, however, there are often layers of grief, fear, and sadness that children may struggle to articulate,” he said. He added that parents diagnosed with cancer, along with their oncology teams, should consider professional behavioral health support and counseling for their children or the whole family to help prevent the physical cancer from turning into long-term emotional trauma.